Monday, 31 March 2008

no regrets

As some might notice, i've deleted some posts that i wrote a few days ago. not because i have something to hide but i just realised that it's no point having negetive stuff in my blog if my purpose of the blog is to serve God!


i really want to thank those that has given me encouragements by commenting and asking me to take care and not give up...and the hugs....etc. THANK YOU!

for the past week or so, i really had a lot in my mind, choices to weigh, cost to count and decisions to make. and yesterday, in Holy Ghost meeting, i was really crying out to God for asnwers. I didnt tell anyone..i just went, seeking for asnwers. the service started and the leader was praying and he just said, God has answers for you. if you are here today with questions, God is going to answer you! And more of course. I felt the whole service, God was speaking to me, reconfirming His love for me! I left, not 100% changed but at least I know I am getting my asnwers soon!

and this morning, when i woke up, i knew and i knew in my heart and mind that it's going to be different. I planned my day ahead but God directed my path.

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9)


Cut the long story short, I got my answers and direction from God Himself!

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matt 7:7

God is just so amazing and awesome and wonderful!

Life without God is really meaningless. You can search for so many things to fill the emptiness in your heart....and do things you think will make you whole. But nothing, NOTHING can be compared with having God in your life.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ( Psalm73-25-26)


I've gone one whole round and back to God. ahaha..it's really funny. I thought life can be more without God. I thought that life would be more fun without God. How dumb! Wasted a whole week!!! Life cannot ever be better without God. It's meaningless without God. Even if you gain the whole world but you dont have Jesus in your life, you are missing your whole life.

No matter how far I've gone...I really thank God that His love is unfailing and He stil welcomes me back with open arms!


Someone once said, even if you've lost grip of God, God will never never lost grip on you! God is faithful! God will always be faithful, even when we are not. And if we are faithful, we finds God even more faithful.

I dont know how to express it....no words to describe how great is His love for us! You just got to experience it for yourself!

p/s : daylight saving begins today! meaning i'm lossing 1 hour!! gtg sleep!!!

Saturday, 22 March 2008

regrets

a sms reads that he is sad that his father couldnt see him graduate.

i think it is very unfair for a child to lost a parent or both parents at a young age. when i mean young, means that the child is not yet married or have his or her own family. it is very cruel to leave the kids without seeing them through university or get married.

but i know for a fact that if this parent was given a choice, he or she will not want to leave the child too. there is no parent that does not want to see their kids grow up, see their kids finish school and have their first pay check or get married and have kids. it is because there wasnt any choice that they have to leave..and often those that are left on earth always is comforted that God loves them more that He took them to be with Him.

so start living life without regrets and love and care for those around you before it is too late.

answered prayer

i was asking God, why why why did he allow these things to happen. it doesnt matter if it's our love ones leaving us or be it getting bad results in exams or being dump by boyfriend or break up with girlfriend. if anything bad happens, we ask God - WHY...why did he allow it to happen. and most of them time...well, all of the time, we just blame it all onto God.

needless to say, i too am like tat. anything that happened --> God why! why!! Instead of asking, I sort of blame everything to Him.

And finally today, someone told me....in anything, good or bad, joy or mourning....instead of asking God why, ask God what can I learn from this??

if i have a burden in my heart, something that is troubling me, instead of holding it to myself and keep asking God why is this happening, pray and commit everything onto God. God cannot move if we hold the things back. But if we pray, God is able to work in the midst of any circumstances.

And to always always remember, His love is unfailing!!! His love is never ending. I was praying last night and asking why why why but I keep getting this in my head 'my love is unfailing'. Little did I know, it was God reassuring His love. And the verse below, I got it a day before and it was like a puzzle falling into place - all these while, I had the asnwer. His love is unfailing!

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you (isaiah 54:10)


No matter what happened to us, God's love does not change. it is the same when He sent Jesus on the cross to die for our sins, His love is the same when He created us...and His love will always be the same. Even though we might lost grip of His love for us, He'll never ever lost grip of you. That is for sure.

Friday, 21 March 2008

let it be a nightmare

waking up in the middle of the night,
i wish with my whole heart that all these is a nightmare.
that as i wake up, everything will return to normal.

i'm sorry, Eddy, that your dad have to leave early to be with the Lord. But be comforted because he is now with God.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

lost, again

i am very confused, alone and lost.

i dont know what should be my piority. what i should be doing.

i dont know what my stand is suppose to be.....where do i stand??

everyone is crazily writing posts and earning so much and i am so behind. i dont like the idea of being so crazy and going after money...am i losing out??

=(

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

tired

not feeling very well for the past few days...could be spiritually dry that caused it or mayb attack..or maybe just caught cold!

everything is ok....time is moving faster than i can grasp....each day is passing by so fast that i really need to sit down and stop time for a moment...jsut to reflect what has been going on, what i want to do and what i am expecting.

missing home terribly!!!

=((

Friday, 14 March 2008

a picture from the past

well, this isnt really a picture from the past, just someone from the past.


it's been 10 years since i first heard about him. 10 years!!! a decade d!!! and when i tried to google him, i manage to find this...wow...he has changed alot!!!


from a young, immature and kinda girly to this....
a very cool transformation isnt it? very good looking!!! stil melts my heart!!!! ahahaha.....

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

My God, My Love

everyday i wake up with a wet pillow
because last night tears wet my whole face
thinking that i must face all these pain and suffering
i close my eyes and wonder when it will end.
this pain and heartache

but You appeared, giving me hope
You healed my hurt and gave me a new meaning
You are my Lord, my God.
and I know you love me.
and I worship You alone!

increasing the traffic

i need more traffic to my site! the fact that I can't public announce it makes it even worst. but now i've found something that can help me drive traffic to my site thanks to Buzzfuse.com.

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Tuesday, 11 March 2008

11A1

congratulatiosn to sanpit!

11a1. that is ALOT!! wow..really praise God for that!!

^^

realy something to be proud abt!

^^

droped my swatch and its heartbeat stopped.
prayed over it..and now is standing in faith for it to be restored!

God's word will not go back to Him void but will accomplished what it has sent for and it shall prosper.
Deu 28 - the blessings follow those that obey the Lord.

I'm sure God will bring it back to me!!!

Monday, 10 March 2008

piorities

i'm not giving up writing to be paid...i just need some time off..it's taking too much of my time and attention.

my God is getting jealous! ahaha...i know it's coming up sooner or later..and no matter what it is, i am wiser to know it is God that i need...nothing can ever be compared to God!

piorities

i'm not giving up writing to be paid...i just need some time off..it's taking too much of my time and attention.

my God is getting jealous! ahaha...i know it's coming up sooner or later..and no matter what it is, i am wiser to know it is God that i need...nothing can ever be compared to God!

Friday, 7 March 2008

happy birthday

it's my 23rd birthday today. last night i slept early, not to escape the fact they my friends are coming to celebrate. i was expecting them but i was too tired. i guess it's ok. it's the thought that counts!

during my sleep, there were sms coming in wishing me happy birthday til my inbox was full. of coure it wasnt as much as you think it is...because the max my inbox can contain is 24-25sms. anyway, i was in like a half awake half dreaming state and i sort of dreamt but also thought it was real that he smsed me and say that he loved me. haha..funny isnt it? and for that few hours, i really was very happy...i dreamt that he told me that he cared....

when i woke up, i realised it was all a dream. did i really wanted him to send me the sms? i thought i was over the whole thing....well, it was a sweet dream. in reality...i know for sure, i'm over it. no more strings attached!

Thursday, 6 March 2008

holding hands

i saw them holding hands from a far. i cannot deny that i was a bit shocked...but it suddenly hit me.....is that a sin? is it wrong to hold hands??

who doest want to be in love?

dont be quick to judge!!

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

n-v

most of my groupmates are earning lots in blogging! i really dont know how they can do that...and their accounts are bursting!!!

as for me...my earning are drying up soon...as in..no more incoming money...

well, jsut got to keep it up!! gambate!!

this n-v is a good one..i've got to remind myself..not to be greedy!!

my source is not ppp or paypal..it's God!

Monday, 3 March 2008

singing

i loved to sing...and i love praising God. Singing for Him. I thought it didnt matter, if i dont know how to sing...if i cant sing the right key...as long as i want to praise Him, that is all that matters...

but it has been nearly 8 years since the day that i learnt otherwise. i couldnt be a backup singer because i cant sing. i am tone deaf. i thought it didnt matter because all that matter is the heart...but now, they are looking at my ability. since then, i dare not join worship team or choir or carolling.

God, i hope u understand....all i want to do is to please you, to worship you!

monday

wah....i'm so full...bloated! had a great dinner...even tho it's jsut soup..

today, i'm going to teach in cg meeting. i really pray and ask God to give me wisdom and boldness to speak!

ok..gtg get ready now..

i got to remind myself...eat to enjoy, not be bloated!

Saturday, 1 March 2008

election day for Russia

today is the election day for russia, to determine who is the next president...

it's a big day for some people but as for me, and how i see it, the streets are quite and there arent many people..,i wonder if there are anyone coming out to vote....

^^

i got a beautiful bday gift - the blouse i've wanted for months!!! yay! thank you kl and colley!

Beauty of Cufflinks

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Aren't they gorgeous??


Looking back

15 years ago, I will never ever think this would all happen. What would my old self say or even think if I would to have a peek into future ...