tired

i'm so tired...

so be it if there isnt anyone that cares for me enough....well, maybe superficially...but i want a deeper relationship..and there isnt anyone...honestly, there isnt anyone!

i try to treat ppl with my heart, but all i get...... just my heart broken into pieces!

feelings

my heart hearts.....right now..it aches....so painful....

i miss mama!!

i never really blogged abt it...but i really miss mama!

i miss you mama!! i really really misses you!!!

God is so amazing

wah...God is so amazing...

i was feeling so dry - stressed out - really lost..and i desperately need to spend some time alone with God. So, i went to CO and really just sit there pray and enjoy the presence of God...after abt 1 hour,feel totally recharged!

honestly, it's not enuff but got to come back to hostel..need to eat, bath and study! i wish i have more time!

I really miss God!!

air

i need air...

and when i turn to the bible - God said - Ask of Me, and I will give You the ations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession! Psalms 2:8

a new day

yay...a new day..aha...

woke up realy good today...had a great time in intern's meeting! really really feel like God loves me. He's perfect! And i want to be in the position where He wants me too.

i cant change the fact that he dont love me..or many never ever did love me before and before this it was just flirting. and the fact he's with my best friend. sometimes, i feel that she deserves someone better...much better but is that really for her or becoz i cant stand seeing them together. i know she's starting to haf a soft spot for him...it's sooner or later before she ends up with him. the way she treats him, hug, hit, scold, talk, its as if the world evolve only around them!

i cant change that fact.

runaway

i feel like running away....run far far away that i dont need to face the people i have to face....not that i dont like them or anything...sometimes, it just hurt the healing wound and it gets worst.

but Sam said something really great - from God - His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness!

thank you, Jesus!

change

i am considering to change this blog name...but i dont want it to be too gloomy....no point confessing all the bad things!!kekeke...so, i guess, it'll stick to this blog name - journey of faith!

well, i saw them together again....today. closer then ever. he sings her a love song. and in his eyes....it's only her!

dealing with myself

no updates..meaning i've been well...aha...having a great time with God..lots of encounters....just in short - God is wonderful!! He's amazing!! He's so so amazing... His love is so amazing...when it sweeps you...makes you feel like there is nothing in this world that matters but Him!!

hunger for His love, and He'll fill your heart with more love!!

had a small fight with a girlfriend...maybe not small...can be considered as big since i hardly have any fights....i dont know if she considers this as a fight tho...but didnt speak with her for 3 days....and God is really dealing with me about this...i mean...LOVE. God is love...and Love dont fight! aha...so...yea..slowly la... ^^
maybe it's just a the stress in this exam season...

anyway...LOVE!

people

people can be selfish....just looking out for themselves...

what do you do when you meet one? should u continue to care for them? but what if they are just out there to 'eat' you up?

i dont want to look at her that way...but everything she does, it just seems to be about her.....all her motives points to herself...

lost? nah....

suddenly, a rush of anxiety sweep over me..and i rememberd that God says...do not be anxious in His words, and also come to me those that are burdened and heavy hearted and I will give rest.

Lord, I lift this burden onto you. I know that You are my peace - Jehovah Shalom.

I love you, Lord!

a new start

yay! it's a new year...a new year gives a new purpose and reasons to start doing something and stop doing something too!

well, i want more of God this year...to really live all out for HIM!

i love you, God!!!