irresponsible

some poeple can be so irresponsible!!!! i cannot believe, even such a small thing as remembering to help submit ur team member name cannot be done, how can someone like that does great things?? it is not the first time submitting names to work together, it's like the 4th time and it has been 4 years. How selfish can one be, thinking of himself only.

I cannot believe, such a small thing, just asking the rest of the team members and submitting the name...even so, he can fail.

I am not sure if this is carelessness or revenge. What a 'small gas' person.

I really wonder, what leadership skill is there..if a small thing like this he can't even do properly, how can he do big things. Just taking care of a few people, only 2 persons, he failed to take care of their interest, how is he going to lead hundreds of people and care for their benefits!!

to you

happy birthday, friend!

^^

may all your dreams come true.

=(

someone today said something, i know it was not what i thought it meant but i knew it right in my heart, that i should stop dreaming, accept the reality and not ever hope in the certain person ever again....actually, we should never put out hope in anyone because people are merely human. human fails!

there are times i really feel that maybe we could start over. i would love him anew...but things will never ever be the same....tat was just a dream. a dream that you will wake up from and honestly, i'm already awake from it.

i knew it 3 years ago....but i had been holding back and for the past year, i really felt a release...even tho there are times i feel very heartbroken..but who would understand what a fool i had made myself? i always will say that it was a painful experience. i dont think anyone would understand me or understand why i put myself through these time. i always hoped in him but like a saying goes, you cant clap with one hand.....

oh well, i am good now, 3 years, finally has set myself free. ^^

Tamaki Hiroshi + Ueno Juri in Bistro Smap

Tamaki HIroshi & Ueno Juri 1/3
Uploaded by forevergirl

i cannot believe i went to watch this video!!! I love both tamaki hiroshi and Ueno Juri. Also lately I've known about Takuya Kimura. Icon of Japan. I cannot believe I am watching this. 36MB!!!

I was determined to wake up early in the morning to download the rest but my hands and feet just wouldn't move to the laptop. So I ended up sleeping! Well, maybe tonight!

power of the word

the Word of God really has power!!!!! i really feel this is where I belong. in the house of God.....one day in the house of God is better than a thousand elsewhere. David said in his psalms.
I totally feel it...the house of God is where I belong!
people may be hypocrites, ppl may take me for granted, ppl may disappoint me and break my heart but as long as God is with me, it's enought.

blowing up

i need to finish this clinical pharmaco project and i am clueless right now. i feel that i am going to blow up anytime.

*breath in*breath out*

i am supressing myself...but i am unsure of what i am trying to surpress. my flesh? my desire? my emotion?

nodame cantabile

was watching nodame cantabile special edition in Europe. the main actor, tamaki hiroshi is so cute!!!! ahaha, it's been a while since i am infatuated...ahaha..the last time was yunho -uknow from TVXQ. well, one of the reasons i dont like dramas with cute guys because i might just fall head over heals for them!
just a few days ago, i was watching karei-naru Ichizoku. the main actor, takuya kimura, was super cute too but i am not as much infatuated as i am with tamaki hiroshi. i feel that i need to hide this feelings or else people will think i am crazy! ahahahah

note to myself : stop watching series!!!!

helping u

i really want to help you get everything setup....i really want to help you but i know you will never accept it and know no matter how much i do, it wouldn't change anything.

there are times when i feel so much to tell you that i am wiling to help you, do anything that you need me to....but have you ever appreciated everything that i do? i guess most of the time you feel i'm being too busy body instead of helping around.

it breaks my heart to remember everything that i did was in vain. but it was from my heart, willingly...

^^

the peace of God

when i was counting my money to pay for the internet, i realised i've lost the money that i put aside to pay to the bank. it's not a little amount because internet here is superly expensive. i searched and searched. I was so convinced that I threw it away as I remember that I had put it aside in an envelop. But I cant find it.

But the peace of God was there, I jsut know I will find it. After searching my drawers a million times, ok, maybe jsut 4 times, again and again til now everything is neatly arranged. I stil couldn't find it. So, i decided to bath and after coming out of the shower, I looked again but didnt find. Then I decided to arrange the photo frame and guess what? It's behind there all the time!!

praise God!!

week

i was blew off again, yesterday! they actually have been planning something and didnt tell me. ok, now who is the leader? why didnt they give me the courtesy of at least knowning what is going on or what they are planing? maybe i cannot hear properly from God, maybe I am not where they are, but cant they at least let me know if there is something wrong and tell me how.

i really am thinking that i am learning all the bad qualities now. being late, cancelling meetings and being irresponsible. this is totally not me!

anyway, God, forgive me, forgive me!!

a broken heart, healed

we were walking out of the lift when we saw AP. We said hi but it seems that he didnt saw us. Us as in, me, lawrence, ame, jaswine and jack. I was kind of disappointed tho. Was it because I didnt dress nice? or my hair was messy? nevermind, i was coming back to the room, at least i made myself go for interns meeting....

then as i was walking out of the door, i heard something, 'ame, u'll be under michelle from next week'. An arrow straight to my heart. At first it missed then i heard it another time, then it hit straight. Why didnt he tell me? Why tell her first?

Am i doing something wrong? am i meeting less often? sharing less powerfully? is that why it has to be changed??? middle of the semester! what did i do wrong? could i have been a bad influence to ame?

i dont know if i should be angry, of course not but honestly, my heart is wounded. they could have at least let me know. i was in front of him, and he could at least told us together. i wouldnt have mind. it was behind my back...just as i was walking out of the door. did he forget i was ame's shepherd??

i am very hurt...but forgive, look at the bright side, i have less one meeting to go to, less one discipleship to prepare for, less one responsiblity! huahahahahah!!!!

going home

another 10 weeks and i'll be heading home for summer break! it's unfair that my university has only 2 months break and actually it is less. and we had to do summer practise. It's totally absurb! Summer break is supposed to be a time of relaxing, not work! And also time spent with family and friendss.

I cant wait to meet Scooby and HeiGou! I wonder if they stil remembers me. I have a feeling my summer break is going to be really pack. Lots of family members coming back to visit us and it's really a great opportunity for quality family time.

sleepy

went to bed late last night but my whole sleep, i have no idea what i dreamt of. it was all mixed up! right now, i'm feeling very tired...actually sleepy! i really want to be able to sleep til i can no longer sleep, then wake up! ahaha..

need to study for class now. Myoma. Something new yet not as easy as one thinks. Need to prepare for class. And also to question patient. Oh man...our teacher, Dr. Konoplya, will be our teacher for Gynaecology for this semester. Very young, just about 28 years old or maybe 27 or 29.

anyway, i've got to cook breakfast now. but i am hesistating, should i make instant noodle? or corn flakes?

Father, i commit this day onto you, bless this day and let me see more of you today! in Jesus name I pray, Amen

a bright day

Summer is just around the corner. And even though it is spring now, the sun is shining bright each day and without proper sunglasses, you will be walking around squinting your eyes. Sunglasses is very important, not only to protect your eyes from the dangerous rays, it helps give comfort as you are walking down the street and believe it or not, it can prevent accidents too!
Sunglasses can come in many forms and style. You need to find one that not only gives you the protection that your eyes need, but also something that will suite your face to make you look beautiful. Now a new site that gives you guarantee as you purchase their sunglasses. Not only that, you also will receive a great deal when you buy 2 pairs and you get one free in return!

back

he's back.
he looks skinnier than when he left.

i dont know what to say...sometimes, without words is a way of comfort! Seriously, i am not good with these kind of things. the first time i have to face this was in form 4, Jiun's dad left to be with God. And I learn to be there for her, to support and just lend a hand whenever she needs it. That is what friends are supposed to be!

May God gives him the strength to face each day!

tactical gears

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daily report

argh, she's acting so wierd again! i really feel like i should confront her! argh!

anyway, other than that, need to study about renal failure and pyelonephritis. kinda tired sutdying..this week has been a very heavy week. time passes so fast. tmr is friday! i dont know how to make the time slow down!!!

he's coming back this weekend. hope things dont change....